Roman, it’s the same for me. For most of my life my true friends were books because I had so much trouble connecting to other people. Now I have some folks I care about so much, who also care about me, my challenge is to balance my precious Alone Time with my time with others, which is a good problem to have. 🙂

I find the ‘tribe’ analogy exactly accurate, Nancy! This is what I feel is happening at the moment. Slowly but perceptibly. And when I feel that it makes me feel *alive*. Thanks again – also for providing a platform where I can express this.

Roman, again, yes! I love that you’re journalling about all this, as that practice has brought me great awareness, and even comfort at times. And it’s affirming to look back at earlier entries to see where I used to be, and that I have indeed moved forward. I’ve found that the better I understand and accept myself, the more clearly I can express my truth to others, then those in my life who don’t really get me start to drift away, and those who do (my “tribe” if you will) are drawn to me. I wish the same for you .

Nancy – Thank you very much for your kind response! As hard and unfair as all this seems at times, I am more and more thinking of my ‘process’ as a true opportunity to – step by tiny step – make a difference for myself and (if they bear with me) some of those around me. (Sounds a bit grandiose, but sometimes I do feel that. Today not so much, but this often happens right after ‘insights’ like the one above. Not entirely sure yet why this is so. ‘Dangerous territory ahead’, I suppose …)
Again, thank you.

Roman, thanks so much for writing. Your words brought me right back to my own childhood where the world was so big and scary and I was so little, yet being forced to see by my glasses. I salute your awareness. My focus now is to remember I have the choice whether to let in the visual (or other) input or not, to keep myself feeling safe as a primary goal at all times, and most of all, to know I am a valuable human being with much to offer and there’s nothing wrong with me! Keep up the good work.

Glasses at five:
1.) lock shock, doubt, insecurity, fear, bonding failure in place
(with glasses on, organism now has to produce (otherwise possibly temporary) shock reaction (refractive error) permanently)
2.) override the very specific protective mechanism of not seeing
(by artificially making organism see)
3.) reinforce dependency/inferiority mindset
(am blind, helpless without this mechanism, and, in my ‘natural’ state, substantially flawed)

As I write this I am really back there, seeing/feeling myself thrown about between 3 and 1 especially.

Thanks for reading

Hi Andrew, and thanks! I surely can’t speak for all myopes 🙂 though I do think there’s a correlation between the strength of minus lenses, and the degree of introversion. It has been true for me that as I reduced the thickness of my lenses, I felt safer to reach out, and naturally became less introverted. This reversed the “going inward more and more” pattern of my childhood, as my glasses got ever thicker.

The big part of growing up is not trying to appease the enemies… it’s all a waste of time trying to please humans, because most of them would only be pleased in seeing you devastated, in other words, dead! The whole point of existence is pleasing the one who deserves and can be pleased!

Vachslav, thanks for reading my words. I do think everyone wants to be understood and liked, though of course we don’t always get that. And you are free to disagree! Part of growing up is realizing not everyone will like us, and that’s fine. The other person is entitled to an opinion just as we are. 🙂 Take care.

Hello Darrel, happy 2019 to you, and I agree. I just wrote to someone else that as an introverted fearful child, I did not understand the value of connection, nor that my separation from others was largely of my own doing. I can definitely see the relationship in myself between reaching out to others, and reaching my clear confident vision out into the distance — as I get better at one, it supports the other to improve too. And yes too about not forcing it, but relaxing into the new pattern and seeing it as enjoyable, not a struggle.

I have read (Jonathan Barnes, “Improve Your Eyesight”) that myopes tend to be introvertive and bookish and this would support your views that people who are short-sighted created a conceptual barrier between themselves and the outside world.

I am sure that being hurt and/or upset can lead many of us down this path. It goes without saying that two wrongs don’t make a right, but we need to learn how to engage with the world and integrate with it as opposed to retreating in to a blurred shell where we are hurting ourselves.

However it is always done through passive relaxation, not through conscious effort as we know.