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black, Black BLACK!!!!!!

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black, Black BLACK!!!!!!
#1
Ha! Well, as you can tell I'm very new to the Bates method of visual improvement. I wish I could say that the subject line to this post wasn't the way I think, but alas, I'm very much a stressful and impatient person -- although I don't come off like that to people who meet me, my wife was very surprised by this fact after she got to know me as we were dating, but I digress . . .

Anyway, "black, Black BLACK!!!!!!" exactly describes my frame of mind the first few times I tried Palming.

I learned about the Bates method only a few days ago, but even though I don't know much about it I'm very interested in learning and practicing more. I read Chapter 16 in W. B. MacCraken's book and thought I would try palming to see if it worked. Well, now remember what my nature is, I tried it for 2 minute stretches, several times, trying to force myself to see black. As you can imagine I was unsuccessful and frustrated after each attempt.

Then I reread the chapter again and thought I'd try to relax, and not attempt see black, but just see how clearly I could picture the face of a friend in my mind. This is how it's supposed to be done, right?

I was amazed how my mind seemed to wonder away from doing this (picturing my friend's face) as I Palmed. Why does it (my mind) do this? I can focus for hours on end when I'm working on a math problem or writing software. But while Palming I really had to struggle to hold down a consistent thought. My mind wanted to focus on things I needed to get done around the house, what I needed to do at work and other problems that need attending too. I don't beleive this is what I should be thinking of while Palming, so I stuggled mightily to put all this aside. I hope that is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Anyway, there I was laying on my bed with a pillow over my eyes (not really "Palming" with my hands, but shuting out all light nonetheless), and after about ten minutes of trying to keep my mind focused on my friend's face the "C" from the top of the Snellen chart, that I downloaded from Central Fixation, sort of swam into the darkness that I was seeing. That was when I decided to check the real Snellen chart that I had laying by my side (this all had taken about ten minutes) and lo and behold I could read the 20/10 line when holding the chart at arm's length for just a few seconds in low light conditions. No way I can do that normally. The bottom line was blurry, but I still could read it.

I hope this means I was Palming correctly. I must say that the darkness I saw while I was Palming never got darker that I could tell, I just saw this "C" out of the blue. What I do see when I'm Palming is darkness, with sort of a soft grey mist floating around everywhere. This mist is dim, so dim I wonder if I'm really seeing it, actually. And yet the darkness and the mist seems to strobe, like a strobe light, not that I'm seeing blinding flashes of light, but that the darkness and mist seem to be pulsing somehow. It can actually be uncomforarable to my eyes (visual center, maybe) untill I breath deeply and try to focus on something else. I'm not putting any pressure on my eyes, so it's not that which is causing this, I actaully don't know what causes this. Is all this normal for some one at my stage? I'd really like to know.

Anyway, thanks ahead of time for anwering any question you can about Palming. I'm going to go make an entry into that thread where everyone introduces themselves, for anyone who would like to know more about me.

Thank you very much again.

Bob
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#2
Silly of me I know to be replying to my own thread before anyone else has answered, but I thought I'd share with you a few ideas I've had about my experience.

First off, as far as I can tell, as I gaze at my computer screen, is that my vision has improved not one whit. But with only a few two or three minute long Palming sessions that I've been able to do since I started I have seen the world of difference in my attitude: I'm slowly relaxing.

For instance when someone calls me on the phone, instead of trying to work and talk to them at the same time, and thus doing neither work nor conversing well, I'm able to put my work aside and focus on the person on the phone. It's a small thing, but I really hope I can keep it up.

Second thing, I spend a whole lot more time seeing a blurry image than restricting myself to the comfort of Palming. What am I to so with that, I wonder? Because I'm coming to realize that my reality is going to be the blurry image for now, not the darkened confines of my hands.

And that means my vision is going to have to get clearer while my living life, not when I'm preforming these exercises. So if this is going to work I have to take something of these exercises and make it my reality.

I guess that means I have to think in terms of not caring if I don't see a thing clearly now, because I will, perhaps, soon. If I don't see a word on the screen clearly, who cares? Because if I know what the word was then what does it matter if I know saw it clearly or not?

Are these the attitudes you folks who have been successful have had? I was just wondering. . .

Bob
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#3
Bob,

I think you're off to a great start, and you are on the right track. Many people never get on the right track, so there's a lot to be said for that. And of course once you're on the right track, there's no avoiding it - you end up where you're going.

So as far as imagining stuff, and the C that popped into your head, yes, that's the way to do it, and that's what'll happen. Just ignore the dark field in front of your closed eyes altogether, and think of your memory working more in your third eye. Whether or not it's completely true, it works. Because you'll note that the dark field isn't where you remember things like the C - it's a place completely different.

That's actually pretty common, being more anxious and tense than people realize. Most people don't really recognize that type of thing in people. so they see it totally wrong. Especially those wearing glasses for myopia tend to suppress their emotions and in a way looking calm but they're really not - the emotions are still there, buried under tension, so the effect is actually more of a deadness than anything I'd call calmness, because there's inner turmoil.

As far as not caring about seeing clearly, again yes, that's the right idea. The trick is to cultivate interest while learning that interest doesn't mean you have to strain to see - the light rays will arrive to your eyes whatever you do, and the best way to receive them and treat them correctly is to be passive about it. Also careful not to superficially tell yourself to not be anxious about seeing something that you want to see, while at the same time being anxious about whether your attempt at doing that worked - see what I mean? It can be tricky, because you're changing the way you do things using the same thing you want to change.

Finally, yes, your hunch about the way you attend to either the computer or a person, not both, is right on. There's all kinds of subtleties like that that can make a difference.

Even just spending half an hour on this stuff per day can have a big effect over time, because vision can fluctuate so dramatically over a short period of time and in most cases the eyese are physically capable of reverting to clarity at any time, and the time you spend you'll carry with you the rest of the day, and you'll notice ways to apply the principles in your daily life.

Dave
Site Administrator

"Half of our funny, heathen lives, we are bent double to gather things we have tossed away." - George Meredith
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#4
Thanks for the reply Dave, I thought I'd post something of what I'm dong today. I read about Shifting and the Swing last night and I thought I give that a try today. So I printed out a sheet of paper with some text on it, and during a break went out to my truck and practiced shifting my focus from one letter to another for about ten minutes.

It's pretty easy for me to see the letter I'm focusing on clearer than the letter I'm not focusing on, but alas, I saw no swing that I could tell. But the exercise was oddly relaxing for some reason.

After a few minutes I started noticing that I could see what can only be described as a glass lens like illusion forming in the foreground with a slight amount of dirt on it. Every time I shifted my focus to one of the letters this illusion would shift with it. At first I thought it might be the start of the Swing that I had read about, and I got pretty excited that it might already be working, but then I realized this illusion was moving in the same direction as my eye focus, though moving slightly slower (kind of like a pendulum swinging back and forth), and so it must not be what I'm supposed to see.

But it was interesting and I guess the excitement of seeing something new, and just sort of moving my eyes around did relax me somewhat. And if anything this was a good exercise in Central Fixation, so later today I think I'll try it again and if it makes me relax again then that will be great.

By the way, last night my wife made me put on my glasses back on for a party that we went to -- bummer. Ah well, they are off now so we'll see what happens.

Bob

Oh yeah, one more thing. Did anyone else out there, when they first started this, have trouble when they were walking down a hall, or whatever, trying to stop staring at stuff? I'm finding that I want to stare constantly. It's so bad that most of the time I don't dare trace something with my eyes, I have to look from one thing to another in other to stop this habit. And frankly, I don't always stop. If I'm not consciously always trying to move my focus around, I soon find that I'm back to staring at something; the floor, the end of the wall, my keyboard, anything . . .
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#5
Well, I've decided that I'm making way to many posts, but oh well.

Well, I think I may be making some progress, still not seeing any clearer, but while practicing shifting I think I actually started to swing a bit. The problem is that when the swinging starts my mind immediately want to look at the whole paper moving rather than just focusing on the letter. It's very important to just focus on the given letter.

Also, after I've had a successful swing or two, and I then look around the page to get my bearings, or whatever, all the words that I focus on seem significantly less black than the surrounding words. What does that mean?

Bob
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#6
Alright, I was wrong, it's the test I'm focus on (as my eye wonder aimlessly around the page) that appears blacker, than the other text.

I hope this is a good sign, rather than a bad sign.

Bob
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#7
Hi Bob,

If I may second Dave's response in that it sounds like you're doing well. I have a couple of comments:

∓quot;Bob"\ Wrote:I was amazed how my mind seemed to wonder away from doing this (picturing my friend's face) as I Palmed. Why does it (my mind) do this?

Your mind doesn't like to fixate on one thing for very long. Even while working on a math problem or writing software, your mind will not fixate on the same precise thought the entire time. This is the same with palming - if you're attempting to fixate on a "C" without changing something about it, after a few seconds you will loose it.

∓quot;Bob"\ Wrote:My mind wanted to focus on things I needed to get done around the house, what I needed to do at work and other problems that need attending too. I don't beleive this is what I should be thinking of while Palming, so I struggled mightily to put all this aside.

Just for your general health it would be beneficial to learn to control your anxiety about completing tasks, but it probably won't directly affect your vision (perhaps indirectly). Though you typically don't want to "struggle mightily" about anything regarding your vision Smile

∓quot;Bob"\ Wrote:Did anyone else out there, when they first started this, have trouble when they were walking down a hall, or whatever, trying to stop staring at stuff? I'm finding that I want to stare constantly.

This is an essential problem for all myopes! If you are a myope, you would stare even before you started your vision improvement process though maybe were not aware of it. It's possible your staring has temporarily become worse as you try very hard to see blurry things as clear, but the staring habit (i.e. making an effort to see something) has always been there.

∓quot;Bob"\ Wrote:Alright, I was wrong, it's the test I'm focus on (as my eye wonder aimlessly around the page) that appears blacker, than the other text.

I hope this is a good sign, rather than a bad sign.

Good sign.
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#8
Thanks for answering my questions bjsilva!

Now it's (seeing black during swinging) has progressed to the point where I only the letter I'm focusing on and one or two others are black, all the rest of them are grey.

Also, you are very right about me needing to relax. Just that aspect of this journey makes it all worth it, even if I remain blind as a bat.

Bob
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#9
Bob Wrote:Alright, I was wrong, it's the test I'm focus on (as my eye wonder aimlessly around the page) that appears blacker, than the other text.

I hope this is a good sign, rather than a bad sign.

Bob

Eccentric fixation is seeing better what you aren't directly looking at. It sounds like you may have noticed this and then when you checked again it wasn't really occuring. That's the point of central fixation techniques - to get you to see best only where you're looking, forcing you to shift a lot (and then learning to shift automatically and effortlessly). Eccentric fixation is incredibly common, as if it's there to some degree for everyone who has focusing disorders (myopia, etc.), and it's another one of those glaring things that conventional eye care refuses to answer for or recognize - it would lead them to a slippery slope that would eventually make them admit that Bates was right about almost everything.

Dave
Site Administrator

"Half of our funny, heathen lives, we are bent double to gather things we have tossed away." - George Meredith
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