Can someone please provide methods to deal with social anxiety? I cannot relax at all outside when I am around people. I tense up and it's not good for the eyes.
I believe that Bates Method can provide any direct help on that problem.
What you are describing, is a Psychological problem. Yes it interferes with the eyes, but you need different approach on this one.
From a thread you can get some help, but i recommend not to use a thread because you might have to say publicly stuff you don't want to say. Its better to use PMs.
Also targeting the problem to its source is not something easy to do. The cause of the problem might be from a time you have no memory of, or you have forgotten about.
Except of using "Tight Boots", i can't thing of any other method except of psychoanalysis. Dealing with psychological problem is like War. You must scout the area, find possible targets and then concentrate on finding the head of the opponent's army and destroy him. Without any info from the local informant, yes this is you, you can't find this nasty little b------d and eliminate him.
The "Tight Boots"method is something used here for years, and the idea is to wear tight shoes, in the point that walking is a bit uncomfort, and so you will focus your attention in the shoes and not th people. It helps in minor to moderate conditions, but in major to severe conditions i doubt.
Meditation, journaling, and regular exercise help me. There's lots of free information available on EFT' and other healing methods. I've heard many times from different sources that you don't have to remember and relive a painful incident, just identify and really feel the painful emotion (shame, fear, helplessness, whatever), then let it go. I can tell I'm improving because my exaggerated startle reflex is almost gone; I used to be a LOT more jumpy an nervous.
I think we live in a society where it's considered almost taboo to be anxious. People try and act confident. It seems that confidence - even sometimes what I'd consider a haughty over-confidence - is what's considered normal and desirable. If you feel and act anxious, you've somehow failed in life. You will feel yourself to be a failure and you will assume others will think that also. So often we hide our anxiety from others, as if we have some kind of deadly contagious disease. That is why people with social anxiety often don't leave their house.
Personally I don't thing there's anything wrong with being anxious or having social anxiety. The problem is more than people get stuck in it, can't move on from it. We have so many assumptions and beliefs about what it is to be 'normal', nonsensical ideas that do no one any good. The fact is that without negative medical labels, to be socially anxious is a perfectly normal reaction for some humans to have in most modern societies. For the sufferer social anxiety can be horrible, but because we must face other people and life at some point, it does us no good to assume something's wrong with us or that we're failures. In fact it prolongs the illness.
As for methods for dealing with the anxiety, and assuming that experiencing anxiety is OK, how to deal with it? The best way to tackle this is to realise that when it's particularly bad, it might last anywhere from half an hour or several hours if you're unlucky, so you're just going to have to deal with going through hell for a while. In short, when you're in the grip of terror, there's really nothing you can do about it but sweat it out. The very worst thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation or use some negative coping strategies - smoking, drinking, or drinking too much coffee (my problem). Avoiding the situation or using artifical coping mechanisms will just prolong the illness and mean you'll eventually face a similar situation again. What might help you is to know that severe anxiety cannot kill you. You can't go insane from it. Eventually you'll start to feel better - terror is an emotion that isn't really designed to last long - which means that when you're in that social situation again you'll not only feel less anxiety next time you're in them, but you'll notice that when you're not in social situations you'll be feeling even better too.
Interesting views guys, but better not start blaming society, because them i will want to blame it, and i will wrote a damn book right here on this thread messing it up totally...
You are tempting me, specially you johnwayne... 8)
Hey, noneother,
throw me a PM if you wish, mate!
I would be glad to help!
I think Bates has some hidden messages regarding all kinds of anxieties (not just visual as it is impossible to separate them and only improve on one without improving all the others.) He says something like this:
Everyone is able to relax under the right circumstances. With some patience, you will find out what works for you and you can learn to first stay in this state and avoid the circumstances conciously where you strain. And over time, when relaxation becomes a habit, you will be able to face those situations with relaxation, too. This is opposite of what psychology says where they say you should face the stressful situations head on, which will only yield partial results in my opinion. Bates's requires more patience and more creativity but I think his can lead to a complete cure. I am not explaining it well, it is only the idea in my head that I can remember now. Read his book for the hidden messages...
johnwayne Wrote:Society is to blame for everything 8)
Maybe you are very true my friend...
But we can openly support that fact.
Because this can make us and the whole Bates Method be associated with anti-social behavior and other things we do not want to be associated.
