I'm interested in hearing about others' experiences with perhaps the most important aspect of vision improvement: undoing wrong thoughts. Just to get the conversation started ...
As I've said before, when I'm consciously practicing vision stuff, I can attain a slight relaxation instantaneously, and get big cumulative improvement over the course of just a minute or two. The problem is that when I encounter certain circumstances, I often revert to my old habits because the new ones feel "dangerous," and I have the wrong thought that I need the old ways to stay safe.
Three examples: (1) having a conversation -- I unconsciously feel like I need to revert to my old habits in order to convey that I'm paying attention to the other person (2) working on the computer -- similar mistaken thought that I need my old habits in order to "pay attention" (3) driving, especially at night -- this is the worst, and I absolutely hate driving at night. I have an immense amount of anxiety about driving at night, almost always strain, and my vision gets much worse. I have hundreds of wrong thoughts when I'm driving at night and I'm still working on identifying and undoing all of them. I know that at least one of them involves thinking I have to grab onto the road with my eyes in order to see it instead of allowing it to move.
Of course, the solution is to figure out the wrong thoughts that cause us to strain in such circumstances, put awareness of what you're doing and thinking that causes strain, and repeatedly expose yourself to these adverse circumstances while maintaining this awareness. (How to do this while night driving is still a puzzler for me, since there's no safe, consequence-free way to experiment around. Maybe a driving simulation video game?)
e.g., when having a conversation, be aware that I have an urge to maintain eye contact in my habitual, wrong way (holding eye contact is easy for people with normal vision, because they unconsciously shift and allow things to move; for me and others who strain, there's a tendency to "stare"); notice if I tighten up my chest; and notice the universal swing.
This is easier said than done, especially when you have a lot of other things going on (figuring out how to respond to the other person; thinking about what you're reading on the computer; noticing traffic).
Even though I have a fairly good idea now of what I do that makes my vision bad (I'm sure I'll continue to have more "aha" moments as I uncover deeper levels of strain), undoing all these wrong thoughts is one of the hardest things I've ever done. If others have any thoughts on how to undo these wrong thoughts more efficiently, please share!
Sean, first, let me compliment you on your level of awareness, and also on your knowledge that this is under your control, that you are not a victim cursed with this problem forever.
I'm getting better at interacting with people and looking at them easily (and letting myself be seen -- ACK!), as long as I don't have to do it for too long. Giving myself frequent periods of solitude seems to recharge my socializing batteries which can get drained pretty quickly. Also, with the people I am close to and really care about, I am getting comfortable disclosing that human interaction can be stressful for me, bringing up the vision topic if they feel receptive, and thanking them for helping me practice!
The computer pulls me into bad habits too, postural for me more than vision (not that they're totally separate). I spent 30 years in a corporate computer environment, all but the last 5 in very strong hard contact lenses, and the last few years when I was "improving my vision", all I was really doing was wearing weaker and weaker lenses but not changing my habits much. Now I still spend many hours a day at the computer, with a window nearby, and can take breaks whenever I want to. I have no glasses on my face and rarely get eyestrain, but I bend forward way too often. I can feel my boy doing it before I even look! So awareness and practice practice practice will help me here too. I remember how I panicked when I first had to use a hotel computer to print out an airplane boarding pass for a trip, after I'd started travelling without glasses, sure I wouldn't be able to see the screen, would hold everyone else up, etc. I fought off the many mother-like volunteers to "help" me the poor handicapped person (while most of them needed reading glasses!), and got through it, not smoothly, but good enough. The next time it was easier, the next easier still, and the next time I helped someone else! My only advice here is something you already know: maintain your awareness of what you're doing, and change your behavior if it's not working. Keep bringing yourself back to the present moment. (Yes, I need this advice myself.)
Driving in the daytime for me, without glasses, is almost pleasurable now. Driving at night is still stressful and the last time I did it, several months ago, I used glasses which somehow seemed to make my vision worse, even though it was sharper. I felt kind of disoriented -- maybe I was missing the natural depth. Anyway, I have given myself the assignment before the end of July to practice driving after dark without glasses at least in my driveway and maybe on my tiny side street. I am both expecting that it will be easier than I thought, and much more freeing, and also afraid that I'll be overwhelmed and won't be able to see much at all, but I won't know until I do it. When I reduced my prescription over all those years and finally eliminated glasses, driving in daylight was stressful, and I often switched among pairs of glasses of different strengths, or took my weak pair on and off of my face repeatedly as needed. So I can do this too.
Here are the wrong thoughts I know I am still vulnerable to. I've chipped away at most of these and am still doing so.
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Seeing clearly takes work.
I can't see as well as other people.
People will make fun of me for not being able to see.
It takes a long time for the images coming to me to clear up.
If I focus my attention on one point, even briefly, I'll miss something else.
People can tell I used to be really nearsighted as soon as they look at me.
My neck will always be tense and tight.
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OK, I'm getting depressed! The above is a great list of EFT tapping targets for me. This post is already too long. Sean, I hope this was some help.
Sean_Augensicht Wrote:I'm interested in hearing about others' experiences with perhaps the most important aspect of vision improvement: undoing wrong thoughts. Just to get the conversation started ...
Three examples: (1) having a conversation -- I unconsciously feel like I need to revert to my old habits in order to convey that I'm paying attention to the other person (2) working on the computer -- similar mistaken thought that I need my old habits in order to "pay attention" (3) driving, especially at night -- this is the worst, and I absolutely hate driving at night. I have an immense amount of anxiety about driving at night, almost always strain, and my vision gets much worse. I have hundreds of wrong thoughts when I'm driving at night and I'm still working on identifying and undoing all of them. I know that at least one of them involves thinking I have to grab onto the road with my eyes in order to see it instead of allowing it to move.
Sean_Augensicht,
I read about EFT and tried it also, but unfortunately it did not help me. I felt it was to complicated and that it was more about reducing consequences rather than treating the real source to the problem. For me it is obvious that wrong thoughts is due to that I am not really present in the moment. For me the key to get rid of negative thoughts is to understand that I have all the power in this instant moment to create something better, to decide and to do something I want. There is a very strong analogy also to vision improvement, because natural visual habits is also about being present in the moment and all the time see one point better than all the rest.
For me it positive thoughts are about a positive attitude that you wear in the instant moment. This positive attitude is coming out of a tranquil mind, and that helps you in your item 2 above, because you improve negotiation, dicussing, and all such communication issues.
I have tried this method for quite a long time now and actually it was my boss who said to me that he had noticed that I always have a positive attitude.
I have also noticed this when it comes to cooperation, family issues, people do not get angry with you anymore.
Regarding your item 2 about computers: Yes, I have a problem with computers, but I very easily can tell when my eyes are getting tired, then I take off my glasses for a while or take a pause and walk for awhile. Natural visual habits helps a lot, because you get aware of the instant moment in which you see one point more clearly than the periphery. It is important to be aware of the periphery when working in front of a computer. So I think the being present in the moment attitude helps here, that I describe before.
Regarding your item 3: All myopic people have much worse vision at night, it is called night myopia. I also have a problem with this. My conclusion is that you need to see perfect in order to be able to see effortlessly at night. Fortunately I do not drive at night so often, and if I stare at night i don't think it matters. I think that natural visual habits is like an accumulator. It accumulates relaxation, and thus prepares for strain. It is natural to strain for awhile, but not always strain. The problem is that myopic people always stares, they never have any natural visual habits, they are doing the wrong thing all the time even if they do the wrong things right, that is really crazy, isn't it, I mean it is easy to see what is going wrong here, it is so obvious, and it must thus be easy to change behaviours for the better. The problem is that a myopic don't know what the right thing to do is and thus feels puzzled, afraid, lost, anxious, what ever negative feeling there is, but it all has to do with a lack of feeling safe in the instant moment. An analogy is that it would be crazy for a man to always pay a policeman to follow him and assist him in everything he does. Because the policeman is already within your inner awareness, if you discover it you will find out that you feel safe, safe with your thought, what you are to do and what you want. This is about being present in the moment.
Ok, that was my view, I thought I needed to share it here, because it has helped me a lot, and to my big surprise i found out that the positive initiative attitude in the moment was linked to the natural visual habits, incredible isn't it.
I have only been able to be aware of my thoughts for brief periods at a time, so it's still a work in progress. But I did have an interesting experience the other day that I would like to share. It's related to undoing wrong thoughts but not entirely connected to vision:
For the past three weeks or so, I have woken up in the morning with a bit of a cold. I would sneeze and my nose would run, etc. But what was strange was the mechanical nature of it all. On weekdays (when I had school), it would disappear almost as soon as I went to my first class. But on weekends, it could last up until lunch and even after that sometimes. I clearly wasn't sick, as I had no other symptoms, but I had difficulty convincing myself to the contrary.
Well, I spent some time thinking it over a few days ago, and I wondered if this might be an example of wrong thoughts influencing my behavior. I would not have thought of this except that I started to notice that my first thought upon waking was no longer about vision but about whether or not I still had a cold! So I woke up the next day, keeping my mind on vision-related thoughts and anything else but sneezing. And what do you know? I didn't sneeze the entire day and I only had a tickly feeling in my nose for a few brief moments when my thoughts wandered back.
It's very interesting because it seems that for the past few weeks, I was worried about whether or not I would sneeze and this in turn caused a tickly feeling in my nose that made it more likely I would sneeze which in turn made me worry more, ad infinitum. This vicious cycle reminds me a lot about how one's vision deteriorates in the first place.
Now I have to apply this knowledge to vision improvement. Currently, my biggest problem is being aware without using effort. My most common pitfall is worrying about whether or not I am doing things correctly, which causes me to use effort to satisfy my (misguided) perception of what is correct, which in turn causes me to worry more when that effort creates more strain. It's difficult stuff! It's not easy to guide your thoughts; most of the time, it seems that my thoughts guide me...
