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Communicating clearly
#1
Oleg -

First, I'm well aware you are not slamming people, but rather the products and techniques themselves. Look again at the sentence, "you'll need to take extra steps to clarify your reasons for not agreeing with a product or technique before slamming it." The thought never occured to me that you were slamming people, and I don't believe you are.

Second, I believe that slamming anything (person or object) tends to be more discouraging than encouraging, especially to people who are new to something. People are easily scared off by extreme reactions; and Americans in particular are more likely to resist than be encouraged to find out that an idea 80 years ago works better than one currently. In fact, they become very defensive. That's just how it is.  It is too hard to change a whole cultural mindset by ourselves, so alternate approaches are needed. Bottom line, slamming doesn't work when trying to convince most people. Don't do it.

Third, if you feel the need to criticize a product or technique, offer a helpful idea to counterbalance the criticism. What can be done otherwise? This is called constructive criticism. People will be more willing to listen to you if they see something useful out of what you're saying. They usually come to the boards with one thing on their mind: "What can you do to help me?"

Fourth, I know you are just telling the facts as you see it. I know you don't intend it to be encouraging or discouraging. Rather, it is the "effect" your words have that is discouraging, unless the other person already knows better. People have the tendency to liable to misinterpret other people's words, and take it personally. But don't take it for granted that people should know better. You are trying to convince people that an idea is correct, so you have to communicate in a way that seems as evenhanded as possible. They may not return because they feel intimidated by how the words came across. Rather than thinking it's their problem, take some personal responsibility and do something about it.  Be careful and make sure what you are saying won't have a discouraging effect on people. A way to get around this is to try offering helpful ideas after you criticize whatever it is you disregard.

Fifth, I respect your opinions. My deafness has taught me the importance of alternate ways to communicate; not all deaf people are like me and don't usually express an interest in communication nor in people of other cultures. Communication is a peculiar thing, one person may view the tone and intent of whatever is being communicated differently than another person. One person may think what's said will help the other person, but it may feel like abuse to another person.  This is where diplomacy comes in useful. You learn to recognize how others may misinterpret what you're saying, in order to be able to efficiently communicate with them and further encourage them to try out new ideas. Learn to put yourself in others' shoes before stating something. You may regard something as a fact, but others see it as an opinion coming from you.


***IMPORTANT***To answer your other question, I'm not fond of glasses. I know that Bates originally believed that glasses must be permanently discarded, but later he stated that people could wear glasses but results would take double the time or longer. If you don't believe me, read p. 564 of Better Eyesight: The Complete Magazines of William H. Bates by Tom Quackenbush. Read the article called "No Glasses for Quick Results" and Bates states, "It is true that at one time I did not encourage patients to learn the treatment unless they discarded their glasses permanently. But since I have studied more about my method and have encouraged some of my Clinic patients to wear their glasses at times while under treatment, I find that some of them obtained a cure but it required double the amount of time that was required to cure those who discarded their glasses permanently."

Bates himself came to realize that when it comes to people who are very visually impaired and stuck with glasses for school and work, and they have no way around it, even glasses would be necessary at times.

I don't want a discouraging "effect" to happen that causes people to leave, and be sure you have the facts straight first.
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