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+--- Thread: Jimbo's Journal (/showthread.php?tid=2299)
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 06-10-2013
100613
A few things happening lately. Firstly I find that it is becoming more frequent that I have clear flashes when I am not thinking about my sight at all. Secondly, I am resorting to thinking less. By this I mean that I clear my mind of bothersome thoughts - usually along the line of "there is too much to do and I should be doing something now but I can't because I am too busy with this..." So there is a general sense of divided attention and I feel better when I can just allow myself to place my best attention on what I am doing now. I may be waking up to how much of a strain it is to try to see everything equally. This is where the third thing comes in - when I see something and I am aware of the condition of my vision, I am allowing myself to notice things in my peripheral vision, and this is where things are often clearer. I am noticing the distinction between images in the two fields. Somehow this works well in bringing relaxation of my mind/vision. I am just noticing and comparing. I look at something directly, then I look away enough to see the image change in clarity as I hold my attention on it, then I look back at it directly. Every time I repeat these steps, my eyes gain more central fixation. This is a very beneficial physical drill for me at the moment. The way I am looking at things at the moment is to allow my attention to pick up on certain parts best rather than trying to force it. If I look at something long enough and just relax initially, I find this process and tendency can start to happen by itself. As long as my attention is not tied up with trying to see better. You cannot fully understand "seeing one thing best" until you experience it, and it is then you begin to realise that this way of seeing is easier and more relaxing. You can only see one thing best if you are relaxed about what you are looking at and you allow the process to happen. The benefit with knowing what should happen is that you won't interfere by straining.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 06-20-2013
200613
Just a thought today. When I have a clear flash, I tend to ask the question "What is it that I am doing for this to be happening?" It is very difficult to answer that question as it seems that I am doing absolutely nothing for the flash to happen. And you know what? It is true - I am doing absolutely nothing to influence my seeing! That is why the flash of clear vision is there. Of course I am not comfortable with the idea of doing nothing to see and I so I start making some kind of mental effort to keep the flash but it is precisely that mental effort which chases the flash off. So I need to turn the tables. It is when I am NOT seeing clearly that I need to ask myself the question, "What is it that I am doing which causes me not to see clearly?"
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 06-23-2013
230613
No matter how advanced you think you are in your understanding and practice of BM, sometimes you have to go back to basics. Just for a bit. Today I could see just how static I was making the world around me. I really do just stare a lot. When something which I want to see is not clear enough then I do tend to just hold it with a fixed stare while maybe trying to practise the mental side of BM (which I am most comfortable with). So I started letting the things at the centre of my vision move a little bit. Sometimes it is difficult to do and sometimes I just have to create the sensation of movement at the centre, but when done properly and not rushed it has worked well to bring objects to clarity. My point is that it is good to remind ourselves of the right physical habits of seeing, even if they are irksome. Just do it for long enough to be effective but not too long to be a burden (and therefore a strain). Sometimes when mental techniques don't seem to work, it is a good idea to change to a physical technique for a while. All of these things are aimed at un-doing, not doing. So when you shift, you are not "doing" something, but instead you are un-doing staring. Staring is not natural or optimal, but shifting is automatic to the relaxed mind, yet practising shifting in turn relaxes the mind. All of Bates techniques are aimed at relieving mental strain and therefore attaining clear vision.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 07-01-2013
010713
I have been approaching my vision improvement from various directions over the past week. I have read David's Method from which there are some good points to take on board. It is quite a simple method although at this stage it does not suit me entirely. I'm sure David won't mind me giving an honest assessment. It's the sustained concentration which David prescribes which I struggle with and I wonder how that works with the passivity of normal eyesight. I found that it works in shorter periods but I cannot sustain it without strain coming in. That is probably just my problem. At the end of the day, any particular approach, whether it is a technique or method, will work for some people all the time, other people some of the time, and a few not at all. Personally I tend to chop and change approaches. The important thing, I have discovered, is that as long as I feel that I am in some way in control of the process - that I am not allowing frustration and confusion to get the better of me - then this more positive frame of mind maintains the momentum of improvement whatever approach I am using at the time. So, if I am not following any particular way of seeing better at any one time (probably because my mind started to get bored with it for the moment) then I will regard this time as a period of "resting" from proactivity in seeing and allowing passivity to work in a positive way - as long as I can feel positive about being passive with my eyesight. When I feel that I am losing the plot, or not being proactive enough with vision improvement, this whole view of what I am or am not doing (because the thought is that I SHOULD be doing or not doing) is negative and is a wrong thought. This often then gets compounded with confusion (more wrong thinking about perceived contradictions between techniques and the idea that I am not doing a technique correctly etc...) So, I end up with my vision regressing. My vision tends to stay at a good level when my attitude towards what I am doing/not doing is a positive one. This then tends to lead back into the right ways of thinking and seeing, whether it is using an old technique afresh or a new variation of a technique. It is good to keep coming up with new ideas to drive the mental restfullness deeper. As Dr Bates states, it requires a level of ingenuity to distract your mind from it's strained state.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - shocker - 07-01-2013
Wow I just tried using a wider area of central fixation and felt some significant relief on the strain you speak of. Good post man!
I'm also with you there on "acceptance". It's been a huge help for the past 2 days when I was really doubting myself.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 07-02-2013
020713
Thank you for the feedback, Shocker. I am glad to have helped. I think we make the mistake of trying to see too small a point in order to centrally fixate. I think you need to notice the smallest point you are comfortable with and as more relaxation comes you would be able to narrow your attention further without straining to do so.
I have been trying something a bit different today although I have done something similar in the past. In a previous post I talked about noticing the level of central fixation I already have. I will revise this idea by saying that central fixation isn't there unless you are noticing something/anything in your field of vision. You notice the thing as distinct from everything else. I believe that central fixation is something you should allow to happen naturally without forcing it. Having read David's Method there was one particular very helpful thing he said and that was when we look at a scene or object for the first time our attention zones out initially in order to get the context of the things in our field of vision. Then our attention should start to zone back in to pick up the details. This is important to remember because if you are trying to force central fixation then you will likely do it when you take in a different scene and mess up the finely tuned process of initially seeing everything the same and then centrally fixating. In a person with normal vision this process would happen very quickly and inperceptibly. Personally I would go as far to say that our attention, when allowed to operate naturally, would zone in and out repeatedly when observing something within a wider context. I am not trying to make it sound like harder work to see though - "Oh no, now I have to zone my attention in and out as well as shifting!" No. I am just saying that with relaxed perception, these things happen automatically, but you can over-ride the process by straining to see. Anyway, I need to get to the point I was going to make, which is this- When I have been looking at things today, first I just take in what is there and it starts off as widened attention. Then I allowed my attention to settle on a smaller area, thus dividing my field of vision into two or three separate zones. As I am letting my attention dwell naturally on certain things of the greatest interest I find it is easier to narrow that attention. If I am looking at something and I cannot make a visual distinction between at least two separate parts of it then I look at something else. I am not concerned with trying to see clearly. All I am doing is be attentive to smaller and smaller parts of my field of vision and making new distinctions between an increasing number of visual points. As this process naturally continues I have been experiencing more flashes. This all sounds like practising normal central fixation, but the difference is that I am watching the process happening rather than making it happen. This requires attentiveness but not a great deal of concentration.
And breathe...
So, I think that our visual function is like a computer trying to re-boot but it is just not getting there. You know what I mean. Central fixation is constantly trying to tap back in but like the computer which will not boot-up, something is interfering with the process. Some kind of useless and irksome program is still running in the background and fouling things up. Our wrong thoughts and straining and forcing and effort are sending our visual system into a perpetual loop of booting-up and failing, booting-up and failing...All our mind wants to do is perceive clearly, and it is constantly trying to do this no matter how long you eyesight has been failing. It is time to shut down the unnecessary programs.
system resume...
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 07-14-2013
140713
We can learn a lot about seeing properly from the times when we are actually seeing properly.
I noticed that when I am seeing in a more relaxed way it seems that the things I am looking at are bigger than the point of my attention. This is more noticeable when looking at large text. It is like the point of my attention has shrunk. I find that I am naturally looking at the centre of the letter and the top and bottom is slightly less clear and seeming to be in a peripheral area although that peripheral area is still only a small area around the centre.
I am allow myself to notice this way of seeing whenever it happens because by noticing it I am encouraging it.
Also another thought, and it is just a thought. (Remember that this is a journal which you need to read with care and weigh up for yourself what is correct and incorrect) - I think it is a mistake to think that our attention should always consciously and intensely be on the smallest point we can see. I do not remember seeing this way when my vision used to be good as a boy. I am certainly not seeing this way when I have prolonged clear flashes. What I am aware of is that when I do see clearly, the centre automatically grabs a higher proportion of my attention for the size the area of that visual attention. Therefore I don't think that we should be putting 99% attention on 1% (or most probably much smaller) of central visual field. I think it may be a different ratio whereby most of your conscious attention is naturally fixated by a reletively large central area yet within that a more automated level of greater attention is operating whereby the central point receives by proportion a greater level of attention and increasingly so to virtually micro-infinity (if there is such a term!)
Sometimes it is good to view the centre of your vision like it is an infinitely small point which is constantly radiating more depth of detail, like the reverse of the singularity at the centre of a black hole in space. This, though, is a mental exercise rather than a physical one. To try and do this physically will cause immense strain, but to entertain the idea mentally can be helpful. You just need to be aware that the radiating visual singularity is definitely there and your attention is passing over that infinitely small point very frequently.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 07-14-2013
I just want to add that as a great believer in the infallibility of Dr Bates' perhaps God given discoveries in vision, I view any conclusions I make as getting closer to what he actually meant in his writings. I have no intention in suggesting anything which deviates from the fundamental theories of Dr Bates. When my ideas do deviate from this I find they eventually fail me.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 07-20-2013
200713
I think we make too big a thing about our poor eyesight. Though I could just be speaking for myself. I am starting to think that blurred vision needs to be treated in the same way as, for example a headache. It is considered to be temporary and with a bit of rest and peace the headache will go away. That is not to say we should throw all the other teaching out of the window. Everything we have learned about eyesight improvement could possibly naturally lead us to this conclusion and as we apply what we learn we undo all the underlying thought patterns which cause the strain. It is just necessary that we must learn this way - gaining entrance to a world of clarity through the back door.
I have read Aldous Huxley's The Art Of Seeing - this was actually the very first thing I read about the Bates Method and it was a long time ago. I remember how he advised putting a Snellen Chart somewhere where you walk past many times a day in your home. He mentioned how glancing at the chart when you are feeling indifferent about your eyesight. This is the important point. Indifference. Do not confuse this with apathy. We really need to let our regime of making a mountain out of a mole-hill go.
I suppose that (and I think I remember this experience myself) when a person with normal sight has a moment of blurred vision, they tend to just expect it to clear up immediately. They may be slightly alarmed by the experience but they know that their eyesight is fine and just view the occasion as an anomaly. They do not make a bigger deal of it than they need to. I know that it is very different for us myopes, and in fact when we have an occasion of a clear flash our expectation is that our eyesight will return to it's usual blur fairly soon. I think that we put far too much thought into the condition of our vision. We need to just acknowledge that there is blur, then recognise it as strain (and it is helpful to consider that the strain isn't really that much) and then make the decision to disregard the symptom of the strain (blur) and relax. Move on and go about you business.
The above sounds insultingly simple, especially for the advanced Bates Method disciple, but maybe this is the message Dr Bates has been trying to get through our thick skulls? It would seem that our generation have particular problems with getting the Bates Method to actually work. In contrast it seems from some of Dr Bates' recorded cases that many people seemed to grasp the idea and make phenomenal progress quite easily back in his own generation. Something in our mindset today tells us that we must put in huge effort to achieve what nature otherwise gives freely. It does not help us either when we are indoctrinated into the standard theory of how eyesight works, and that we are told it is not possible to improve your eyesight without lenses or surgery. Even those of us who follow the Bates Method tend to perceive our eyeballs as being grotesquely pulled out of shape by immensely strained muscles, yet I think that it only takes a small amount of strain to significantly detriment our vision. But the strain remains chronic because we first have difficulty believing in alternate theories about vision, and then we add to the strain by perhaps perceiving the strain as being worse than it really is. So when we read that our vision problems are "just a wrong thought" we struggle to get our heads around it.
I am taking a step back from viewing my eye strain as insurmountable. I have other things to think about and the only thoughts I should afford by blurred eyesight are that the blur is temporal like a headache, and that I, in my thoughts, just need to relax and move on from compounding the mental strain with more thoughts on the subject.
It's very simple - relax, the problem isn't really that bad.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 07-30-2013
300713
There is sense in which I have gone full circle with my approach to vision improvement. Lately I have been doing something I used to do before I appreciated the mental side of eyesight, and that is being aware of and consciously releasing the tension from physical strain around my eyes.
The reason I am doing this is because I believe I have now secured enough mental relaxation in order to make the physical practices of eyesight improvement more effective. I would say that a great deal of mental relaxation simply comes from knowing something and believing it.
An example of this would be simply knowing and believing that poor eyesight is a result of strain. Further still, to know and believe that eyestrain is caused by mental strain will also do a lot to secure further relaxation.
There is a point at which you cannot consciously release any more tension without creating more tension and this is where mental relaxation alone plays it's part. You don't worry about it, you don't try to relax any further. You just don't allow the tension to increase.
This practise for me has been bearing fruit so far.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 08-03-2013
030813
A quick one here. If you did absolutely nothing at all about your vision, you would have perfect eyesight. This would be a good thing to know, believe and remember. If you got this into your head, I think it would go a long way to mental relaxation certainly in the area of vision. The point is, we ARE doing things to interfere with our vision, but we don't realise it or cannot pin them down. Sometimes we have to do other things (Bates techniques) in order to stop doing the straining things.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 08-04-2013
040813
Having read David's most recent post to date a few days ago I have been practising the idea of feeding my imagination with the data from my eyes. I did previously make the mistakes which David mentioned - those being "overlaying" the blur with an imagined clear image or just imagining that the clear image is "out there" in my head. David could not have been more spot on with these somewhat erroneous techniques. They did bear fruit at times but it always led to strain eventually.
So the idea is that when we look at something, we allow our imagination to take hold of it and use the available data (the blur) to assist the imagination in identifying or clarifying the viewed object. So for me, if I am not sure what the object is, then I will use my imagination to form pictures in my head of what the object appears to be. It initially forms a somewhat abstract form in my head but there is the sense in which I have accepted that interpretation and in accepting it there is a sense of "knowing" what it is although I am only knowing what my personal interpretation is instead of the reality. (This is ok as when we see a letter clearly we "know" we see it as it is, but we don't really because if we had utter superhuman microscopic eyesight what we would "know" to be there instead would be a pixelated image with lighter shades between the individual tiny pixels.) When the acceptance of the interpretation happens, there is a releasing of tension which then changes the image on the retina and a new interpretation is made by the imagination and accepted by the will and so the cycle continues....
That is my understanding of how it happens. The key thing here is that we initially reject the blurred image, maybe even before the imagination has a chance to work from it. It is like the imagination is suppressed and not allowed to use the data because by choice of will we have rejected the unwelcome blur.
Now I think there is a way in which this whole process happens much more quickly and seemingly without conscious effort. But first we have to reactivate the imagination and engage with our visual field through our imagination. I guess this is where rebuilding a good habit comes into it. Finding a way to release our imagination is the thing. Obviously relaxation plays a vital role.
Many of us have experienced those times when we were not aware we did anything but for a brief period our eyeballs suddenly completely relaxed and our vision took on depth, clarity and contrast. With this came a feeling of well being and lightness and rest. Somehow during these moments our imagination was unsuppressed and by some kind of distraction our will accepted the mind's interpretation of what was out there.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 08-11-2013
110813
Frustration is one of the biggest problems with BM. If this were not true then this forum would not exist. This isn't because there is something wrong with BM, it is because there is something wrong with us. We just don't get it. We find something which works for a while but somehow we turn it into strain again. It seems that there was one ingredient in our latest discovery which got left behind at some point and then strain returned. What is that ingredient?
First of all, frustration itself causes mental strain, so dispense with it. Just trust that tomorrow you will find a better way. Meanwhile give yourself a break and relax.
I think the missing ingredient may be interest. Now don't switch off because you heard it before. Don't misunderstand me either. If somebody tells me I need to be interested in what I am looking at I tend to think that they mean I need to have a level of interest where I am thinking that the thing I am looking at is really exciting! Then I think "I cannot sustain that and pretend to be interested in things which simply do not and cannot interest me". So this is not what I mean right now by the word interest.
One thing I think we do which greatly hinders our progress is to lose ALL interest in what we are seeing if it does not measure up to the clarity we want. To have NO interest at all in what we are seeing is the same thing as rejecting the image presented to us by our eyes. This is not natural.
I sometimes think on how I would be if I could see clearly like a person with normal eyesight and I imagine myself naturally having interest in the things which I am seeing. Well it seems to me that perhaps that level of interest needs to precede the clarity of vision.
Here is the difficult bit both in explanation and application. The big question is - "How much interest is enough interest to stimulate the mind and eyes in order to see clearly?"
I would say that the amount of interest you need is only enough to make a small mental connection with what you are looking at. It is certainly a lot more than the mental rejection of the image, but in practise the change in mental and visual behaviour is quite subtle.
When you have had flashes in the past you knew that you had done something different but it was too subtle to pin down.
So when you look at something which manifests as the usual blur, all you are doing is taking just a little bit of interest in what you see for the natural purposes of gathering information. You are connecting with it, briefly and gently. You are interested enough to see it rather than block it. You are just a little bit brave enough to look at it instead if shy away from it. This is acceptance of what is seen. It doesn't mean we have to like the blur, but we treat it in the same way as visual information which is clearer and more favourable.
I have been practising this approach over the last couple of days since an interlude of frustration and confusion. I have found it to feel natural in application, sustainable, and effective in perhaps dealing with improving my base level of vision as long as I am making this connection with what I am seeing. I often catch myself having no attention or interest in what I am looking at and then I gently reconnect. There is some discomfort with this practise which for me is a feeling of "stickyness" around my eyes but I think this is down to a tendency to strain at this practise. I think that some of the most effective things we can do to improve our vision are the ones which are most likely to regress to strain because we get results and then we try to force the process. Also there is a subtle difference between seeing correctly and seeing incorrectly, hence strain can be just a thought away.
If I look at something and try to increase my interest thinking that will increase the clarity, I strain. If I look too long thinking that dwelling on the image will increase clarity, I strain. If I look with a primary intention to see clearly, I strain. If I look purely to connect and gather some information - interest and attention, there is less strain. My world is blurry but I will connect with it anyway. It takes more effort to block it or shy away from it. I need to become just a little bit more interested (just enough to see) and a little bit more brave (just enough to look) so that the images will be affirmed as they are and so that my imagination can get to work again.
There is also an attitude to be uncovered here which is "I am doing it anyway - I am connecting with my world and I will make the best if it." It's a kind of boldness which only people with clear vision have, or the boldness you imagine you would have if you had clear vision. It is also like a decision and a truth about yourself which is "I will take the rubbish of my life and turn it into something worthwhile. I will do good with what has become bad. I will be blameless."
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 09-07-2013
070913
It has been nearly a month since my last post and although I could have made a couple of entries I did not think what I had to say was quite complete. I have had one of those periods where consciously doing something about my eye strain felt too difficult. It started as a "step back and chill out" phase but these can easily turn into a sense of no direction and apathy, which it did. One point this proves is that if I am not doing something which I feel is positive (even if that is not quite the right thing) then my eyestrain sits around at my "base" level of strain, which is that permanent level of visual acuity. When I feel positive about what I am doing (or not doing), my eyes respond well and take on more dizzying (though transient) heights of visual acuity. If the particular technique I am using is a good one, then the improvement in vision is better, easier, and lasts longer. Eventually though, somehow I lose confidence in the technique, or it starts to feel irksome, or my mind on a less conscious level becomes unresponsive, and the technique stops working.
I increasingly think that success with the Bates Method is about changing your approach frequently. After a while you have seemingly hundreds of techniques or ways of thinking with regard to your vision up your sleeve that you will always find something which works for now. I think that the idea is that eventually your eye strain will have nowhere left to hide and you achieve a permanent cure. Perhaps.
On the subject of the "permanent cure", I believe it is possible in theory, but having fixation with this "Holy Grail" of the Bates method is counterproductive and misinformed. Good eyesight always fluctuates, so it is never perfect all of the time.
So, I got to the point where I felt that I had to do something pro-active again about my eyes. I started with the simple and fundamental approach of "seeing one thing best". Now, sometimes after a period of non-productiveness with my eyesight I try an approach like central fixation and then I seem to automatically learn something about it which I did not fully appreciate before. It is like the penny dropping. Here is my revelation:
I may have misunderstood the instruction to "see one thing best". The desired result, of course is to see the thing at the centre of your vision more sharply and in focus than everything else around it. But I think I have tried to start with the result. I knew that I could not make myself see the centre more clearly, yet I was stuck in this kind of paradox where I am instructed to see the centre best but I cannot. I did realise that it was about placing my attention there, but I really did overlook the importance of this. What I am doing now is to try to increase my attention on the small part of the thing I am looking at (or decrease my attention on everything around it) and hold it there without trying to see it clearer but emphasising the importance of it in my mind. I will shift my attention to another part and forget the last part I looked at. I have found that in doing this (and it is a mental exercise in attention, not trying to make the eyes see) that the thing at the centre, if done properly, clears up quite quickly. This is also helpful if I am anxious to see something as I hold my attention on it and let go of the periphery. It takes a little bit of time while my mind moves from dispersed attention to centralised attention. I can also see how the bad habit, and the hard one to break is in my use of attention. Also, as I am holding my attention on something, I increasingly narrow that attention if there seems to be no progress so that my attention rests on, usually a very definite point. This is not at all unlike David's Method. I have noticed that my reaction to a blur is to zone out from it (avoiding it) and to be distracted by the equally or more clear things around it. the trick is to place your attention on the blur at the centre although it is the hardest thing to see. You are just acknowledging it with your attention. As David says, this really is the most important thing in your visual field irrespective of how clearly you see it compared to everything else, and therefore it deserves and requires more of your attention.
It is very early days with this approach for me so I will see how it continues to go. It can very easily turn into strain to see more clearly but it is almost like I need to disassociate or "divorce" the desire to see clearly from the intention to focus attention on something.
Re: Jimbo's Journal - jimboaxeman - 09-11-2013
110913
The last thing I tried didn't last very long. Maybe I just lost the knack or the relaxation with it. Since then I have been doing something which feels far simpler. I have just been picking out the details which I can see without trying to see in greater detail and then moving on to the next thing. I have been trying to incorporate this in normal life and how I use my attention. I think it is quite easy to make the mistake of trying to make your eyes see better rather than bringing your attention better to what your eyes see. There is a sense of "seeing with your mind" with this as your mind is connecting with what the eyes present to you instead of being uninterested in what details the eyes are giving you. Even details of blurs are ok, as long as the smallest details are being made aware of. I have a natural tendency to reject what is not perfectly clear and therefore never give my mind a chance to process what the eyes are seeing. Sometimes I am better at this than at other times. It does not deliver spectacular results and often it needs to be practised without that expectation, but I believe it is a good way of seeing because it uses central fixation, movement, relaxation, acceptance, feels natural, involves the mind more than the eyes, and is simple. This could be one of those slow but sure approaches when it comes to vision improvement. Again, like my previous approach in my last post, it is not unlike David's Method in that you need to bring attention to the details of what you see and you need to recognise the importance of those details as it is noticing them that will stimulate better vision processes.