1 year vision anniversary! Fork in the road

[spydermann]

Hey guys!

So it's roughly my 1 year anniversary being crutch-free! I've officially been on my vision quest now for 1 year. I started last year right around the end of April after I was in a major car accident, seemed like a perfect time. I was headed on a road trip with hopes to find myself and some peace and clarity...but I guess leaving friends and family was not the right path at that time! After walking away with just a couple scratches, I figured i'd take the crash as a sign that maybe I ought to stick around and maybe I'd find some peace at home...

Interestingly enough, as my bumps and bruises healed up, I finally decided to sit down and read "Take off Your Glasses and See" which I had bought a few months earlier but had never gotten around to it...and so sparked the vision quest!

So far I've had some pretty solid improvement in my emotional well being, but nothing major in my eyesight, only maybe a .25-.5 improvement. I've yet to experience any of these famous clear flashes that sound so intriguing.... I originally began with the Bates method - palming and swinging and such daily for a few months, but not seeing any results, I wore out and strayed with curiosity of an easier way. I shifted to Carol Look's 8 week EFT approach, attempting to attain some ocular relaxation through the acupressure point tapping, and, while i was able to rid myself of panic attacks and infamous nervous stomach upsets (which is such a relief!), I still saw no major improvements in my eyesight. However, after one EFT session on anger towards grade school bullies, i woke up the next morning with very sore shoulders and a strange sore around one of my eyes-almost like mild pink-eye....that was very interesting and encouraging!...but as I kept trying to chase and tap down that emotional trail of anger for the remaining few weeks, I just seemed to lose it...along with more of my motivation!

Currently I've reached that stage, as expected in any endeavor, where I've hit a wall of doubt and loss motivation...However! It seems like these low points are like turning points, similar to how the caterpillar retreats into it's cocoon to later come out anew...

Though I've lost some motivation towards Bates' exercises, i've always been fascinated with and felt very empowered by the quote he said: "The cause of any error I of refraction, of a squint, or of any other functional disturbance of the eye, is simply a thought - a wrong thought - and the cure is as quick as the thought that relaxes...."

This idea that there could be a single certain emotional upset within me that if i could somehow find it, understand it, and release the stress and mental strain that it holds - maybe i could gain some clarity...or at least experience a clear flash.....The possibility of having a simple "aha!" moment of insight that could relax the mind into balance, gaining clarity as a result...
It gets me thinking that if someone was practicing the Bates Method, along with some emotional and intellectual treatment (maybe psychotherapy), I wonder if it would greatly speed up the process - Not only being able to attain clear eyesight - but an overall clarity and peace of mind. A solid understanding of ourselves and what causes us to get blurry/confused, since they are psychosomatically linked...I have personally felt that this pursuit of clarity is not only focused on my eyes but equally on understanding myself and life more clearly...

Just wanted to give an update and see what you guys thought about it - in particular the idea of gaining clarity from a conscious/unconscious sort of insight or understanding... whether that is from personal reflection or talking with a therapist to even having a heart to heart with someone...who knows! Very interesting.

Thanks!

[JMartinC4]

spydermann - check out my posts on neonatal eye antibiotics and see if they apply to your quest for the one thought or the single certain emotional upset that you're looking for.

[liquidlight]

spydey,

Interesting post. I have read some of your previous posts and they impressed me, such that I would not have guessed you've never had a clear flash yet.

Whatever you do, don't give up or lose hope right now. There is definitely a psychological aspect to the cure, and probably also the cause (as you quoted Bates saying). It sounds like you are "peeling back the layers" of the cause. From what I've read, this will happen with the most recent layer first, and you keep peeling them back until you reach the core layer which is what caused the problem in the first place.

I have no doubt in my mind that most, if not all of us here, have some "wrong thought" or psychological response to thank for our years (and some of us, lifetimes) of imperfect refractive states.

As I think about what you quoted Bates saying, it seems to be he cannot be wrong. Except possibly in the case of some people who may have had an actual physical cause such as a deformity or mutation, etc. But Bates' theory is probably right even in other arenas such as back pain -- really, even if you hurt your back there was probably a wrong thought which caused you to do so! And then people with such back pain will go on for years with it, because the muscle refuses to release, probably because they refuse to release the thought.

But to answer your question, personally I don't know if I would get psychotherapists or counselors involved. IMO, they are likely to want to go in their own direction with your "other problems" and focus not so much on the vision improvement. In other words, I feel they'd be more likely to distract you from your vision correction, as they'd probably rather focus on your mental issues with __(insert problem here - dad abandoned you, dog died, etc)__.

Just my 2 cents. Although I do agree that the psychological aspect has to be addressed somehow.

--Edit:
After I posted this I thought about what I'd written for a few minutes and want to add this:

I only mean that a therapist might get you sidetracked into issues that may not have anything to do with your vision problem. If a therapist was really able to stay focused on getting to the core of the vision problem, what you said is very possible and I do wish such vision-oriented psychotherapists existed (maybe they do? who knows.)

But that brought something else to mind... who might possibly be the best therapist of all? You. or perhaps more specifically, your subconscious. I bet your subconscious knows exactly what caused your problem, and I just wonder if asking the problem to reveal itself in dreams might be the answer. Actually, I think I'm gonna try this soon Of course the trick would be to pay attention to yourself and to remember your dreams to see if any clues exist.

[spydermann]

thanks liquidlight. Peeling back the layers, i like that. Vision restoration like an onion, layer by layer, makes the eyes water the whole time too!

The psychology of bad eyesight is definitely something to consider. I think it's the yin to the yang of the problem...wrong thought habits creating wrong seeing habits. Having an insight of this mental/emotional aspect would be like the guiding light at the end of the tunnel of exercises for me. Like the person with a long lasting bad back pain, they probably do have a stressed thought that correlates. I've noticed I have a subconscious fear of the world being a threatening and critical unsafe place, so if I can figure out how to trust it...maybe clarity would come.

the psychologist possibility is kind of just a matter of finding someone to trust and talk to I guess...It seems like if someone has at least one person that they feel connected to and can trust, then they would hopefully gain a little more trust towards the rest of the world. Relax the hypervigillant mind enough to relax the vision.

good thinking with the dreams! I've been trying to lucid dream lately...the subconcsious could be an excellent guide, it's like a personal psychologist!

[sean]

Spyderman, when I started it was a few months before I got a clear flash. In the end I just said to myself: I know I can see and I'll just sit here and wait for it to happen. I let go of everything, my eyes, my posture, everything - I just lay back slumped in a chair in front of a home-made Snellen chart and surrendered all control. I didn't try to shift or anything, but just did nothing. I noticed that my eyes tingled and watered profusely, which was uncomfortable and annoying, but nothing else. Then, much later (it was 50 mins in fact) I found myself looking at the chart and it was as clear as crystal. It was like emerging from a dream and I couldn't remember what I had just been doing in the preceding minute or two - presumably nothing. And I thought "oh yeah, I remember this. This is what it was like when I could see perfectly". (I'm sure I mentioned this in an earlier post.) Maybe I'd expected to feel someting more profound, but that's all that went through my mind. I doubted this was a genuine clear flash as it hadn't been done by an 'approved' way or technique, and moreover the surface of my eyes was quite sore the next day. Anyway, I tried the same thing the next day, an hour went by but nothing at all happened, so that wasn't going to be a profitable way to move forward.

However, it seems to me from the way you are talking that you are making progress nevertheless, as others said, and it's just a matter of time before your vision catches up.

Re wrong thoughts, that's something I've been thinking of mentioning. Some weeks ago I had been involved in a brief exchange with a well known economist on his blog. He'd asked me for advice on getting info. on a particular angle. This was gratifying, as I have no qualifications in the area, but there was no visual effect on my part (not that I was expecting anything in that line of course.) However, I posted a matter of fact reply: 'x' says this, try reading 'y', or something like that. Off the cuff, no prior thought, no premeditation (unlike me). Spontaneous. Immediately my vision cleared for a few moments. The reason I started posting, here and elsewhere, in the first place was to make myself 'more visible' - all my instincts before then were against it. I'm not suggesting doing a Ned Flanders and heading off to Las Vegas with Homer Simpson on a whim or anything...!