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Bates Method Jokes?
#1
Sorry if this is in the wrong section. I wasn't sure if this topic belongs here or in "Off Topic".

I'm curious: Are there any funny Bates method related jokes out there? I thought that it'd be fun to share with friends. At the very least, we can have a nice laugh.

After some serious thinking, I could only come up with one decent joke. I hope you guys like it:

Why do Bates method practitioners strike out so often?
- Because they're always swinging. Big Grin
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#2
Hey, I think I got one:
Two Bates practitioners are at a party, and one says to the other,
"So, which came first, the chicken or the ego?"

Which is a wry pun because:
1. It's a play on the old unsolveable question, 'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
2. Cowards don't like the Bates Method - they are 'chicken'.
3. The freudian Ego gets in the way of many Bates practitioners' improvement and understanding.

I don't got a million of 'em! Wink
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#3
Joke Improvement:
Two people wearing glasses are walking into a Bates Method party (banner across room) and the Host or Hostess says to them, "So, which came first, the chicken or the ego?"

Which is a wry pun because:
1. It's a play on the old unsolveable question, 'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"
2. Many Bates practitioners are or have been 'chicken' or afraid of bullies. Most bullies are actually cowards and would be afraid of the Bates Method.
3. The freudian Ego gets in the way of many Bates practitioners' improvement and understanding.
4. Neither party-goer has successfully cured their vision yet!

It's a work in progress! Wink
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#4
All the amusing things I can think of about the Bates Method right now are about how it's not obvious:
You remain aware of the periphery to see more clearly in the center.
You see a smaller and smaller area clearly in order to see everything clearly.
You see immovable objects moving if you're doing it right.
You practice sunning to improve your night vision.
You close and cover your eyes, imagining black, to see better when your eyes are open.
When people ask you how much your vision has improved, you tell them that's not the point!
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#5
@JMartinC4: Keep working on it. Smile

@Nancy: That last line was hilarious stuff. Big Grin Made my day humorwise.
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#6
Nancy Wrote:When people ask you how much your vision has improved, you tell them that's not the point!
That made me laugh really hard ;D Thanx or this one, Nancy.

Well, I've read some time ago not completely a joke, but a story written with a good sense of humor (in my opinion at least) by Dr. Bates himself in his Better Eyesight Magazine, 1922 March issue, THE TRUTH ABOUT FATIGUE article:

Quote:ABOUT fifteen years ago I was ambitious to learn how to run long distances. At that time I was, it seemed to me, the poorest runner ever invented. I could not run a mile or even a quarter of a mile. To run a block brought on palpitation of the heart and the loss of breath and fatigue was sickening. One of my dear friends told me it was impossible, that I was too old to attempt it, that it would be disastrous and that if I continued in my foolishness I would drop dead suddenly, without warning. Instead of his discouraging me, I felt an increased incentive to get busy. If I succeeded I could enjoy a conversation with my friend; but, if I failed, dropped dead, the conversation would be necessarily omitted.

...

Running Oneself Into the Ground
I determined to obtain more facts. In one race I ran about eight miles and I made all the effort possible, planning to keep running until I dropped. The experience was valuable. Before I fell I lost all sense of effort, my sight failed, the ground appeared to be rising in front of me, I lost all perception of light, everything was midnight black. I had literally, actually, run myself into the ground. In a few minutes I was conscious. In spite of my protests they carried me away in an automobile.
In another experiment I entered a race of twelve miles. Just as soon as my sight failed I stopped running and walked until my vision was again normal, when I would again run some more. By alternating the walking and running I was able to finish with a sprint. A policeman invited me to sit down. Before I knew it they had me in an ambulance, galloping to the hospital, with me protesting all the way. I have run in many races since, finished in good condition and have escaped the kind attentions of the police and the ambulance service.
Dr. Bates definitely was in a good mood when writing this. I can't help but smiling when reading these lines...
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