Many of you know I got strong glasses at age 5, which got stronger once or twice a year until I was wearing a -10 prescription at age 16. For more than 30 years I wore those thick lenses, until I started NVI and began reducing my prescription. With all the books I’ve read and the exercises I’ve done, of course I’ve also looked at what I was thinking and feeling when my vision started declining as a small child. My mother was critical and demanding, often raging about nothing. My conclusion has always been that I just didn’t want to see that angry face, so I blurred my vision.
After years of journalling about this issue and many hours of EFT, some with a coach, I figured I had wrung all the benefit from these processes I could, and should focus my vision improvement efforts elsewhere. Then earlier this week I scheduled myself a vision coaching session with Greg Marsh, a well-known teacher from Colorado. I admire him because he used to be an engineer with a -13 (!) prescription, and now does not wear glasses and has a wide following. Plus he’s a big believer in EFT.
Greg tapped with me on a childhood incident when I was 7 and came home all excited because my teacher had said I was such a great reader I could work for publishing company when I grew up! To be paid to read — what a dream job! My mother must have been having a bad day, or been resentful that I was happy when she was stuck home taking care of my 2 younger sisters. When I told her my big news, ready to burst with joy, she grunted “Hmmpf! With your eyes you’d be blind in a month!”. I broke into sobs, my triumph totally crushed, and ran out of the room.
I have tapped on this quite a bit on my own, but we went deeper. Greg helped me see that my mother wasn’t right, I was a good kid. He created a scene where my adult self went back to comfort my child self and talk to her. I could be the guardian angel or good loving friend my child self needed so badly. This was powerful for me — I wound up taking off Little Nancy’s glasses and showing her how the colors were brighter without them. I was a Vision Teacher for my younger self! This process healed something in me. Even if my mother wasn’t on my side, I was, and that was a lot.
The following day I had a session with my personal EFT coach and told her about this. In all the work we’ve done together, we haven’t spent much time on my vision, which is such a central issue for me. She took it further than Greg had, being an experienced psychotherapist and knowing me well. I could not afford to see my mother clearly back then — it hurt too much, and would have made me feel hopeless. Light bulb moment! I had to believe as a small child that if I just tried hard enough, my mother would be nice to me and be proud of me, and stop yelling. In the tapping with my coach I looked at my mother honestly, and saw that she was not capable of giving me what I needed because of her own problems. As an adult now and a child then, I was in despair — this was so sad! Yes, I was crying, probably grieving the death of my dream of a loving mother. Yet I was facing Truth, and truth heals as my energy medicine teacher Deborah King wrote in her first book.
My eyes protected me from seeing this painful reality when I was too young to handle it. Thank you! I had to hang onto my optimism that Mom would be loving and kind to me someday to survive. So now I don’t need to keep that “wrong thought” (Dr. Bates’ language) and can look at the situation clearly. Rather than feeling jaded and bitter now, I feel lighter. It takes energy to maintain a belief when Reality contradicts it.
No, my visual acuity did not instantly improve, at least not yet. I do feel like this was a big step in my healing, and an important piece of the foundation for further improvement. If you have any visual limitations yourself, I invite you to look at what was happening in your life in the year or 2 before you started wearing glasses, and what you were thinking and feeling about it. Might there have been something you would have preferred not to see? Can you begin to work through those feelings of constriction now, as an adult, and begin to let them go? You deserve to see your entire wonderful rich vibrant life clearly!
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