In a recent workshop with EFT master Carol Look, she talked about the artificial limits people can place on their growth, often unconsciously. For example. a man may be excited about earning $10,000 more a year, yet an increase of $20,000 dollars makes him very uncomfortable. This is more than his hard-working father ever earned! So without fully realizing it, he may sabotage any action which would bring him this kind of income raise.
Similarly, overweight people often say they want to be slimmer, yet cannot seem to go farther than a 10-pound weight loss. Perhaps they fear losing more will make them more attractive, and they’ll get unwanted attention, or it will cause jealously from an overweight friend. So they’ll start having no time to exercise, or eating more sweets, or some other weight-gaining behavior, once they get above a 10-pound weight loss.
This discussion made me wonder about vision upper limits, either in myself or in my students. I’ve heard people say they know they’ll always have to wear glasses, they just don’t want their vision to get any worse. Or (from a new student with a strong minus prescription), that he’d be happy with a half-diopter or a diopter improvement. Talk about setting the bar too low!
As a faithful EFT practitioner for myself as well as a coach for others, I’ve explored possible downsides of having no vision limitations, or, another way of looking at it, possible upsides of continuing to “need” glasses sometimes and to struggle to see without them. I was a bit stumped about this — glasses are so annoying! No one drives me anywhere or does things for me I could do myself if I had perfect eyesight. Why would I want to limit my vision?
Right now I think the answer is twofold, and I’m also aware this may change over time as I mature and grow further. First, I believe my nearsightedness developed when I was very young because I did not feel safe seeing my environment, so I blurred it out. Then wearing strong glasses constantly kept that constricted pattern firmly in place, not allowing it to loosen. As I’ve gotten out of glasses, the pattern is indeed softening. It was so entrenched and these habits were so much a part of me, though, the pattern is not yet completely melted.
The other part of the answer to “Why would I still limit my eyesight?” is related to the way I use my eyes physically with and without glasses, yet separate. That may be a slight tightening of the facial muscles or wrinkling of the brow or narrowing of the gaze. What goes along with that, and maybe even precedes it, is an emotional feeling of not wanting to reach out. The closer something is to me, the safer it feels to me to look at it, the more relaxed my eyes will be, and the clearer it is likely to be because of this.
So to continue to improve, I’m paying attention to both of these areas. I’m continuing to look in the distance and curiously examine the details I can see, and imagining those I can’t see. I’m also noticing when I don’t feel comfortable looking far away, and exploring that — is what I’m afraid of realistic, or just an old outdated habit I can let go of? I can envision skylights in that artificial ceiling now, which will open to let me see as far as I could ever want, without limits.
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